Hurricane

First post! Here it goes -- don't judge my grammar skills.

For most of you checking out this blog, you're aware that a team of 12 people are heading to Cambodia to visit a safehome for trafficked girls. Of course, we go with the intention of serving the girls and what we can do for them, but we all know that God will work in us as well. The team is developing quite well and I'm excited to see what God has in store for us.

Well...that's somewhat of a lie. I'm excited -- in a nervous, vulnerable, scared, but trusting God -- kind of way. When I went to Cambodia last year, the song 'Hurricane' by Jimmy Needham was in my head (minus our time at a dance party when Black Eyed Peas and Eminem was all you could hear...heh, that's a story for another time). Anyway, the song by Jimmy Needham goes like this:

I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight

CHORUS
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
I’m only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction’s what I need
Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I’ll receive it Lord from Thee

(Chorus)

And it’s Your eye in the storm
Watching over me
And it’s Your eye in the storm
Wanting only good for me
And if You are the war
Let me be the casualty
‘Til I’m Yours alone
I am only Yours
I am Yours alone, Lord

(Chorus)

Come be my hurricane

Now, let me draw attention to a few particular lines because I realize that when song lyrics are posted hardly anyone will read them all the way through. And by "anyone" I mean me.

So, why am I excited in an apprehensive kind of way? Because last year, what God did in me through our time in Cambodia was like a hurricane. I needed destruction, I needed a wild fire untamed to burn my walls down and I needed to get to a place where I could say 'you know far better than I and if destruction is what I need, then I'll receive it Lord from thee.' And that's what he did. He tore down my walls by bringing me through a "fire" of fairly intense emotional and mental breakdowns -- breakdowns that led me to cling to him only tighter. Looking back on it, I am tremendously thankful for the whole deal. God, of course, knew what he was doing and I, of course, learned that I hardly trusted him as much as I said I did. But, it's still kind of scary to need or want destruction.

All of that to say...that's why I'm excited to see what God has in store for this team.

-Allison